PRAISE FOR WHY DADS LEAVE

 

“I have no doubt this book is a seminal work in the 21st century, helping shift our focus to assuring that the critical period of parent-child attachment is safeguarded for our highest human potential.” —Meg Jordan, PhD, RN, Chair, Integrative Health Studies Program, California Institute of Integral Studies

 

“Easy to read and guides us gently into insights and ‘Aha’ moments that can make a real difference in our lives and our relationships.” —Sue Johnson, PhD, author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

 

“For years, I was one of those ‘men who leave.’ How unfortunate that such a wisely conceived, exhaustively researched, and beautifully written book was not in my hands then. A profound, provocative, and passionate work. Bravo!” —Emmett Miller, MD, author of Deep Healing: The Essence of Mind-Body Medicine

 

“The generations-long effects of Western parenting have been devastating to the health and wellbeing of all us, beginning from conception and birthing through infancy and childhood. Such dysfunction is evident in the basic ways we feel about ourselves, our partnership relationships as well as our relation­ships with our children, our friends, our world community: we lack the profound, joyful feelings of connection which include deep love, respect, caring and empathy.

Through conditioning and self-preservation we have replaced our needs for connection with the very distant second best substitutes known as independence and self-sustainability. We are human animals and by nature meant to connect via love. Love in all but the most superficial ways have been conditioned out of us as an “educated” race.

Callander’s monumental effort in this book dissects not only the causes of our widespread cultural disconnection with self and others, but offers a magnificent myriad of tools for rediscovery, repair and long-term healing.

I would love to see this book on every bookshelf, every nightstand, in every teen and adult’s hand. There is real promise for a loving future here.” —Barb Lundgren, editor, Rethinking Everything Magazine

 

“Provocative and personal, Why Dads Leave is a major contribution to healing the family soul, individually and collectively.” —Sarah J. Buckley, MD, author of Gentle Birthing, Gentle Mothering

 

“I’m in awe at what you’ve accomplished and so grateful, because it pulls together numerous fields and diverse wisdom with a focus toward what makes humans and human societies thrive rather than be in a constant state of fear and defense, surviving, and coping.” —Suzanne Arms, author of Immaculate Deception: Myth, Magic and Birth

 

“Powerful, exquisite—hot, scary and exciting, this book revealed truths that I did not want to hear (I do believe I actually avoided it) yet I found myself drawn to as an oasis of the fresh possibility of love.

We are guided via Jack and Meryn’s own journey and research into old, inner wounds; and then, in a flash, offered a ‘how-to’ path for not only addressing our own unmet needs but also nurturing truly healthy kids and community. This book is a bomb of balm waiting to explode all around the ‘civilized’ world. It is seminal work that must be read by every aspiring parent and those who love them.” —Bill Kauth, co-founder, ManKind Project, author of We Need Each Other

 

“If the new dad can see mothering from her perspective and vice versa they can better parent together, which is, of course, what baby wants, preventing a lot of breakdowns, suicide, child trauma and private and public expense (therapists, courts, hospitals, police).” —Paul Mason, LLB, BA(Hons), Australian family lawyer and former Commissioner for Children, State of Tasmania

 

“Being a parent is a profound growth experience. You will be challenged to confront your personal deficits and your life’s unfinished business. This book gives parents and parents-to-be the tools they need to navigate the terrain of their own emotions–and to heal. It shows you how to support one another on this path instead of getting stuck in power struggles. I recommend it highly.” —Susan Campbell, PhD, author of Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills to Live an Authentic Life

 

“Ending the epidemic of disappearing dads will do more good in the world than curing cancer. Absent fathers have been implicated in such social problems as violence, child abuse, suicides, teen pregnancy, and war. I’ve been waiting for this book for a long time, perhaps all my life. Read it now! And buy more to give to your friends and family.” —Jed Diamond, PhD, author of The Irritable Male Syndrome

 

“To an infant, failed or impaired bonding feels like abandonment. As this infant grows into a man, the deep, but often hidden feelings of this early imprint leaves him unprepared for the mature intimacy parenting demands.

When the flirtatious playmate gets pregnant, her attention turns to the baby, leaving dad feeling abandoned once again, so he often leaves. Why Dad’s Leave, explores why this happens and what couples can do to transform their intimacy, expanding it, rather than walking away.” —Michael Mendizza, co-author of Magical Parent—Magical Child (with Joseph Chilton Pearce)

 

“This is a must-read treatise on parenthood. The only problem I see is you have left very little for the rest of us to write!” —Patrick Houser, author of Fathers-to-Be Handbook

 

“Most songs are about getting your man. This book is about keeping your man—especially after a child comes along.” —Naomi Judd, Emmy Award–winning singer/songwriter

 

“This book has the potential to change history. It’s the first truly healing approach I’ve seen for a long-neglected wound in so many people’s lives. Callander and Travis not only show us what we need to know about why fathers disappear, but they also give us real how-to solutions.” —Gay Hendricks, PhD, author of Conscious Loving

 

“While childbirth had always been ‘women’s business,’ the doctrine of fathers participating in birth suddenly emerged around 1970. Theoreticians supporting the doctrine claimed that this radically new behavior should create strong links within couples and a deep-rooted attachment between father and child. According to them, the incidence of separations, divorces, and disappearing dads would have dramatically decreased. They were obviously wrong. We must be grateful to Meryn and John to suggest the right questions at the right time.” —Michel Odent, MD, author of Birth Reborn

 

“A desperately needed book that will make an enormous difference in people’s lives. Hurrah for someone finally taking this perspective.” —Robin Grille, author of Heart-to-Heart Parenting

 

“Provocative and powerful!” —David Isaacs, co-author of The World Café

 

“Addresses an issue that is epidemic in scale, largely unrecognized, and totally misunderstood. Childhood bonding, fatherly involvement and family cohesiveness are vitally important to the sustainability of this increasingly populated planet. Callander and Travis’ groundbreaking work helps unravel this Gordian knot by explaining with great clarity why so many committed prospective fathers abandon their wives and children because of unresolved emotional issues that parenting raises. The first step toward solutions is recognition of a problem. Why Dads Leave offers a blueprint for raising consciousness and practical steps to help man and their families addressing this challenging issue.” —Kent W. Peterson, MD, Past Executive Director, American College of Preventive Medicine; Past President, American College of Occupational and Environmental Medicine

 

In my forty years as a marriage and family therapist, working with over 2500 students writing their autobiographies, and in my keynote speaking around the world, my experience resonates with this work. Why Dads Leave offers hope and a possibility for sustaining healthy families. The pursuit of wellness begins with the conception of a child, lasts a lifetime, and thrives in a supportive community. My deep gratitude for this incredible groundbreaking work.” —Elaine Sullivan, Board of Directors, National Wellness Institute

 

Meryn and Jack have shared their journey from partnership to parenthood in order to illuminate us and make our futures better. They not only lived through this common challenge, but named it, investigated it, and learned from it. Now they have created literature that will forever change families who embrace this knowledge. Society can only benefit from their long, hard endeavor. A simple thanks is all I have, but certainly not enough for this gift.” —Barbara A. Hotelling, past president, Lamaze International and Doulas of North America (DONA)

 

Partial listing of additional endorsers:

  • John Breeding, PhD, author of The Wildest Colts Make The Best Horses

  • Richard Heinberg, author of The Party’s Over

  • Martin Rossman, MD, author of The Worry Solution

  • Marilyn Schlitz, PhD, President, Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS)

  • Michael and Justine Willis Toms, New Dimensions Radio/Media

  • Patrick Williams, EdD, Founder, Institute for Life Coach Training

  • Ralph Wolff, PhD, President, Western Association of Schools and Colleges